Finger Thinking 060112 B

Finger Thinking  060112 B

There is within the human heart a tough fiberous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess.  It covets “things” with a deep and fierce passion.  The pronouns “my” and “mine” look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. . . ..The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die.  AW Tozer

Honestly, I wanted to change the quote to “There is within my  heart. . . . “

I won’t make any assumptions about any of you but when I read these words I had been wool gathering about some “things” I had and wanted and this quote was a real kick in the teeth.  I am very much caught up in things.

Oh I’m not into really big expensive things I just want lots of little things.  I fight against the “If onlys.”  You know, “if only I had this,” “If only I had that.”  I play the old, “That’s not tooooo expensive,” game.  I justify my wants and gains by keeping them small.

If you ever saw the movie The Jerk with Steve Marin there’s a scene when Steve’s character looses everything.  I a sad but fun ny scene he proclaims the, “I don’t need anything, I don’t need stuff.”  As he walks across the he keeps saying that – but he changes his tune and it becomes, “I don’t need anything but …….”  And he leaves his mansion with an armload of “stuff” that can serve no useful purpose.

I’m like that only I find it’s worse.  I walk around saying, “I don’t need anything more than the Lord, BUT . . . . (or except . . . .)”  Too many of my prayers are dotted with requests for this or that and though they are not bad things they are asked for from a sense that they are really needed. 

There are two things I have to confront with the help of the Spirit.  The first is that somewhere deep down there is a fear or at least an idea that I need the Lord – and.  That somehow the Lord and _____ is the security I need.  Trust me, I’d rather find anything but this in my heart.  It’s not conscious but it’s there and it’s gross.

The second thing has to do with control.  God is sovereign but ……..  I want to live His will but….    It’s interesting.  I’ve been in some pretty dangerous situations and conditions and have found myself trust God with the old, “If it’s His will I’ll survive.”  “If it’s His will X wll happen (or not).”  But – and it’s a big but – When it comes to simple stupid stuff I don’t do that, I just get it or make it happen.

Php 4:11-13  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  (12)  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  (13)  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

1Ti 6:8  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.

Heb 13:5  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

But for the grace of God these three verses would convince me I was not redeemed.  If they were the measure of redemption I’d be without hope.  As it is, I am redeemed and miserable.

It’s a good misery – a righteous misery – but misery none-the-less.  Convicted?  Duhhhh.  Guilty”  Duhhhh Duhhhhh!!  Repentant?  Well – I’m just too skeptical of me right now to claim that.  

Those “root’ Tozer wrote of are Kudzu.  If you’ve ever been down south you’ll know Kudzu.  It’s everywhere and almost impossible to get to.  Not only that but you can’t imagine the damage you can do as you try to up-root it.  

Repentance, in this case, for me, is gonna be tough.  Confessing the sin is easy.  It’s the mortification of it that’s really gonna be rough.

I don’t know about you – but I’ve looked in a part of the “mirror” I had not looked in before and, well, “Yuck!”  

God’s gonna have to do some real work here.  Kudzu is tough to root out.

Well – hope this blesses you – it will me – I think ;-}