Examine yourself to see ---- 112712

   All that I am, all that I have - indeed that I am at all - is His.
Everything is placed in my hands for His purposes.
He kindly allows me to use some for my sustenance even my pleasure but it is not mine, it is His.

So when my mind wanders into the probability that what He has given me that what can be taken will be taken and I find myself growing inflamed with keeping it and/or defending it and I am cast down.

It is not my car or my house or my rights or my guns (ouch) - they are all His even to the smallest cell of the body He has given me.  I am obligated to use it wisely and well but I don't know that I am obligated to defend it - even if I could.

It was His to give and is still His after the giving.  It is never mine.  If through some secondary cause, for His purposes, it comes to a place where it is taken, even taken by force of arms or law or both am I to trust Him to leave me with what He would have me steward or am I to meet force (any type of force) with force?

I wonder if I am not to simply trust Him and allow Him to preserve and protect even my life.  Indeed the very history of our faith demontrates that there is a time and place where we must stand passive as we are persecuted and oppressed, even robbed by force of arms or force of law.

When they came for Him in the garden one only met force with force.  Not only was he foolish but he was wrong and the Lord undid the harm he inflicted.  It does, I hope, make one wonder.

We are raised to believe that we have three inalienable rights.  Life, liberty and happiness (which was originally property).  But I would ask where I am to find my right to any of these in His sovereignty and providence?  A right?  Then it is not grace or mercy but something the creator God is oblidged to provide and preserve?  And what text pray tell gives proof to that?

Paul counted all things as dung compared to the excellency of Christ.  But we, do we really count "all things" so?

Ah you will hack away at self-protection or self-preservation?  And what convinces you that you can, much less are obligated to preserve your self?  Are we not all utterly in His keeping?  Is not our very life His to give, to moderate, even to take?  Is He not sovereign, holy and good in all that happens in His creation?

He has blessed me with much - and I have much through my own foolishness and flesh.  He has allowed it but that does not mitigate my follishness and fleshness.  I have much that is there by sin.  Much.  I can not in good conscience hold that I have a right to keep any of it.  To use it for Him is my duty but that duty does not negate His right to take it away.

Job woefully lamented the loss of all He allowed to be taken.  Yet we read no claim made against God.  Naked Job came and naked he would leave.  Even if God took (or allowed to be taken) his very life Job committed himself trustingly to Him.  Do we - really?

Many do - when there is no choice.  But they simply accept what is happening instead of turning to Him promptly and praise Him for His goodness.  Salvation and a cadillac too was once considered cute - but as we have come to elevate that to the level of doctrine is it devastating.

What do we mean by "mine?"  I fear we mean something very wrong hearted.  I fear we mean "sovereignly mine" not merely mine to serve Him with and through.  I know I struggle against that heart dis-ease.

"He who dies with the most toys wins," is a sad statement for a believer to ever come close to making.  But even if we never say it, I fear we shout it by our lives.  James provides us with an important insight:

James 4:3-4
You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. 4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.    ESV

He's talking to us.  He's talking "passions."  Not sex, not drugs although those certinly apply.  Rather he is talking about us wanting what we want when we want it how we want it FOR OURSELVES.  And not what He wants, when He want, how He wants for His glory.

He is talking about me, my, mine, ours.  Our passions NOT His passions.  Can you see dear ones the dangerous difference?  See the confusion - the confounding?

We ask for money to get what we want.  We ask for time to use as we want.  We ask for health so we can continue to do what we want.  Is this asking rightly or amiss?

Pau in Romans 7 writes out his turmoil - the flesh against the Spirit.  Which one do we listen to the most.  I see few of us (note I said us - that includes me) bewailing and mourning the opportunities we give the our flesh.

Not I but Christ.
Not mine but His.
What's the differentce?
Zip!

Examine yourself 112112

Examine yourselves - 

Would you know - in spite of all the doubts and accusations of the world, the flesh and the Devil that you indeed His?  Would you have a confidence in your redemption that humbly stands against all challenges?  Then my fellow believers you must be about examining your hearts, minds and affections.

Ask yourself, "For what do I pray that is utterly dependent upon the will and providence of God?"

Our prayers are great tools whereby we may diagnose the state of our souls.  If they are self focused, even upon the most rudimentary needs, then we have need of closer examination.  It they seek that which we honestly need and yet these are sought for the removal of some worldly sense of shame, then we stand in need of closer examinations.  If they begin with us or they begin with a self-serving flattery for the sake of our requests then we stand in need of closer examination.

In the model prayer (Matt. 6) Jesus provides us with the priorities, progress and process that true prayer - the believer's prayer, must hold to so we can be confident in our prayers.

If you can pray, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," without your mind flying to your needs and wants then you may rejoice in that confidence.  But if, in asking that His will be done, your mind and heart erupt with a desire to mold or force His will to yours - then indeed you have just cause for concern.

Take, for the sake of self-examination, that one phrase, "Thy will be done," and pray only that for a week.  As you pray it consider His will - His goals and purposes for the world, for unbelievers, for believers and then for you.  

Can you set aside your personal concerns - your aggravations, worries, fears, needs and desires to explore the depth and breadth of His will and its being done?  Or does your mind and heart seek to get right to you and your desires?  

Perhaps you may pray with paper and pencil and upon asking, "Thy will be done," you can enumerate those things which you know are His will.  But I warn you, everyone of them must be tested by the plain and main teaching of the Word of God.  It they are not so examined most of them must be held suspect.

Your confidence, your assurance can not withstand the winds and wiles of Satan if you are not clear on God's priorities which should be yours as well.  To have priorities that compete with God's is to be at odds with God.  To be at odds with God is pride.  When the One True God does not serve our pride it is an easy slide into idolatry.

With so very many of us struggling just to provide the basics the temptation is to fall to our knees begging Him to provide those basics.  But prayer is worship over petition and supplication.  Prayer is thanksgiving before requesting and seeking.

James hits the mark - but the actual bulls-eye is is much smaller than we think.

He writes:

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. 

(Jas 4:3)

"Passions?"  We tend to immediately think this means that those referred to are praying for sinful things.  But this is not the case.  The word includes any physical gratification or pleasure.  

I'll be bold and ready for correction but what I read here is that in this sort of prayer, we are more concerned for the physical provision that God can provide than for the spiritual provision which is His priority.  Why?  Two passages:

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 

(Jas 4:4)

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.   (Mat 6:31-34)

It is the Kingdom (Kingship) of God and His righteousness that we are to be seeking.  That is the priority.  Jesus says, "and all these things will be added to you."  Added - get that?  It is the physical providence that is the "extra" - the dessert.  The Kingdom and his righteousness is the meat.

I encourage you to use the above exercise to examine your heart and mind, to expose your true priorities.

Let me ask this in closing.  If indeed you are, first and foremost, seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness and in His good will, in His eternal plan you are to go without even the means of sustaining your life - is that "good" for you?  Is your redemption by His grace utterly sufficient or must you have dessert?

It is a hard thing to say, as did Job:

Though he slay me, I will hope in him; .   (Job 13:15a)

BUT

"life is more than food, and the body more than clothing." (Luk 12:23)

Walk with P and me 081612

Walk with P and me 081612

Today was the first day of the “hours” cut we’re facing.  Of course, cut hours = cut income.  So some decisions have to be made –

Having no “fiduciary” sense what so ever, I decided to let the gifted one in the house have the reins.  Yep – Patti is now our official nickel squeezer.  Patti approved the decision ;-}.

Having made the decision I wrote and Elder to kind of feel him out.  Wow!  He made it very clear that if $$$ managing wasn’t my gift I was nutz to do it and since it is Patti’s – of course she should. 

Two things happened almost immediately.  I became very proud of my wife and very chagrinned at my (former) determined obstinacy.

I wrote a while back about husbands giving their “selfs” for their wives.  I think I did that!?!  I gave up control ( even very poor control) to her.  She will get the “picture” together get with a friend who does $ management and I will follow orders.

How could something that was sooo hard feel soooo good?  Don’t know – don’t care – but I suspect taking a little more air out of my “me ballon” and acknowledging her gift played a big part in it. 

Ya know, I’m slowly and at times painfully realizing that even without all the hot air in my “me balloon,” it still says “Me” and that’s ok.  I’m probably a better “me” without it (No comments from you Sinclair!!!)

That’s the most recent step.  God hasn’t revealed how His providence is working out but we trust that it is working.  

Thank you for your prayers and please continue – they are working!

Walk w/ P & me 04

Walk with P & me 04

Richard Sibbes in his work, The Soul’s Conflict With Itself, does a wonderful job of not only pointing out the need for real and true conviction but he powerfully addresses the issue of false or overdone conviction.

For us (especially me) it’s a matter of fighting the “would have, could have, should have,” attackes.  Hindsight may be 20/20 but it can also be overwhelmingly toxic.  The flesh, the world and the devil can wreak havoc with our minds and hearts using these as its entree.

“Had I,” and “Had we just . . . .” are brutal and cruel messages that have just enough truth in them to lay a heavy and blinding burden on our hearts.  Whether sinful, silly or just stupid, all the things we might have done differently rise up and accuse – legitimately or not and they gain power from the uncertain parts of the future.

Imagined destitution, desolation and desertion loom large and all the shame and humiliation that come with them press down.

Sibbes also does a good job of helping us understand that our imaginations, which, when not operating within the truth and trust of God, are cruel companions.  When the time is right the imagination (through the flesh with help from the world and the devil) create “potential realities” that ,apart from his faithfulness ,seem certain. 

Even when we consider that the “worst” that could happen might well be with in His will for us, the flesh (w/ help) makes it seem punitive instead of providential.  Bad not good. 

We know He works all things together for the good of His own.  But the flesh (w/help) paints pictures of Job early on, David in the flight, Israel oppressed.

We look to Him for help.  From Him we desire relief.  But what if the hardship is the help we need?  What if He needs a new Job (kind of)?  What if the worst that could happen is in His will for us? 

We are confident in His grace and we are grateful for His providence.  We know we are His but (and it’s an evil but) the flesh (w/ help) clings to, “I love reading about Job but I don’t want to be one!!!”

However, and please don’t think we’re being snooty or presumptuous, Paul was willing to suffer the loss of all things for the sake of the gospel and he enjoins us to follow his example.  We want to – but if feels a lot like falling.  Add to that the fact that the flesh, the world and the devil make it look a lot like failing and it’s a double whammy.

But feelings aren’t facts and faith isn’t a feeling.

We had a good night together last night and we are doing, at least for right now, what we can do.  We are resisting where needed and drawing near as often as possible.  I still want to pack the car and run away.  Patti still wants me to quit wanting that ;-}. One cool personal thing.  I've never been one who liked to snuggle - however I've come to discover its therapeutic benefits ;-}  and Oh boy-is Patti happy!  ;-}}}}}}}  That's one blessing that's has come in the midst of all this!

Our prayer needs are simple:  A new job for Patti, more work for me, support for the ministry Us in Him and last but most important the grace to trust Him however His plans are laid.

Thank you !

Patti and Michael Sanders

2205 New Garden Rd.

# 2807

Greensboro, NC 27410

ms@tc2v1.com

Finger Thinking 060112 B

Finger Thinking  060112 B

There is within the human heart a tough fiberous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess.  It covets “things” with a deep and fierce passion.  The pronouns “my” and “mine” look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. . . ..The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die.  AW Tozer

Honestly, I wanted to change the quote to “There is within my  heart. . . . “

I won’t make any assumptions about any of you but when I read these words I had been wool gathering about some “things” I had and wanted and this quote was a real kick in the teeth.  I am very much caught up in things.

Oh I’m not into really big expensive things I just want lots of little things.  I fight against the “If onlys.”  You know, “if only I had this,” “If only I had that.”  I play the old, “That’s not tooooo expensive,” game.  I justify my wants and gains by keeping them small.

If you ever saw the movie The Jerk with Steve Marin there’s a scene when Steve’s character looses everything.  I a sad but fun ny scene he proclaims the, “I don’t need anything, I don’t need stuff.”  As he walks across the he keeps saying that – but he changes his tune and it becomes, “I don’t need anything but …….”  And he leaves his mansion with an armload of “stuff” that can serve no useful purpose.

I’m like that only I find it’s worse.  I walk around saying, “I don’t need anything more than the Lord, BUT . . . . (or except . . . .)”  Too many of my prayers are dotted with requests for this or that and though they are not bad things they are asked for from a sense that they are really needed. 

There are two things I have to confront with the help of the Spirit.  The first is that somewhere deep down there is a fear or at least an idea that I need the Lord – and.  That somehow the Lord and _____ is the security I need.  Trust me, I’d rather find anything but this in my heart.  It’s not conscious but it’s there and it’s gross.

The second thing has to do with control.  God is sovereign but ……..  I want to live His will but….    It’s interesting.  I’ve been in some pretty dangerous situations and conditions and have found myself trust God with the old, “If it’s His will I’ll survive.”  “If it’s His will X wll happen (or not).”  But – and it’s a big but – When it comes to simple stupid stuff I don’t do that, I just get it or make it happen.

Php 4:11-13  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  (12)  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  (13)  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

1Ti 6:8  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.

Heb 13:5  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

But for the grace of God these three verses would convince me I was not redeemed.  If they were the measure of redemption I’d be without hope.  As it is, I am redeemed and miserable.

It’s a good misery – a righteous misery – but misery none-the-less.  Convicted?  Duhhhh.  Guilty”  Duhhhh Duhhhhh!!  Repentant?  Well – I’m just too skeptical of me right now to claim that.  

Those “root’ Tozer wrote of are Kudzu.  If you’ve ever been down south you’ll know Kudzu.  It’s everywhere and almost impossible to get to.  Not only that but you can’t imagine the damage you can do as you try to up-root it.  

Repentance, in this case, for me, is gonna be tough.  Confessing the sin is easy.  It’s the mortification of it that’s really gonna be rough.

I don’t know about you – but I’ve looked in a part of the “mirror” I had not looked in before and, well, “Yuck!”  

God’s gonna have to do some real work here.  Kudzu is tough to root out.

Well – hope this blesses you – it will me – I think ;-}