This and That 091012b Oh, be careful but proud

When men have had enlargements in their expressions, and especially when they apprehend that others are satisfied or affected therewith, they are apt to have a secret self-pleasing in what they have done; which, before they are aware, turns into pride and a noxious elation of mind. 

Owen, John (2011-09-27). Grace and Duty of Being Spiritually Minded [Illustrated] (Kindle Locations 747-749).  . Kindle Edition.

From praise to pride is a very short journey.

From kudos to conceit is a just a step.

From glorifying Him to glorifying ourselves doesn’t take much of a nudge.

Doing works of ministry should certainly make us feel good.  But it is the good of the instrument not the good of the player.  I have heard the most beautiful music come from a simple Penny Whistle as well as a costly clarinet.  It was not the instrument but the musician.

Paul writes:  “In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God.” Rom 15:17

See, there is a humble and godly pride.  It is a pride of the instrument – the one through whom God makes His music.  It is, “in Christ!”

But it is also a danger.  The danger is when we allow ourselves to be carried away from the source – the means – the power of our performance. 

We all have skills and talents and they may or may not be our “spiritual gifts.”  But they are all gifts.  I work hard to differentiate between my skills and my “gifts.”  Though I thank God for them both they are not all given for the same use.  Yes, they are given for the purpose of glorifying God but they are not all useful in the works of ministry He has called us to.

Because of my upbringing and experience I have a lot of things I can do and do well.  The danger comes when I decide which are for His glory and which are just there.

I know this sounds strange but what talents etc., I use in my work and how I use them is not the same as when I am about His work.  Yes I know He is in it all but I discern a difference as I use them.  It is hard to explain but just because I can “X” does not mean He wants “X” to be of any importance in my work for Him. 

Pride comes in when I assume that I should use a talent or skill just because I can and in doing that I keep someone else from being able to use their gifts in His service.  Even when I think I might do it better, or especially when I think I might do it better, pride is there and I must sit still.

OK this is OOC (out of context) but the principle has helped me:

1Co 10:23-24  "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.  (24)  Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

Let me give you an extreme example.  I was given my first gun and taught to shoot when I was still in diapers.  I am a certified Revolver Master Marksman.  Now, pray tell, how do I use that for His glory?  I know I can think of lots of ways that skill might be used but there is no direct connection for me.

On the other hand, I was forced to take part in musicals and plays when I was very young.  Now understand I am a terminal introvert – so, at times I was whipped because I didn’t want to participate.  But, I learned to “do” extroverted things.  So, I use those skills in my work and my ministry.  Yeah, it’s hard to correlate being forced to do something with it being a “gift,” but it was – and is.

I have been told that I can be intimidating.  Now, when I was in law enforcement, that was a good thing – but “in Him,” not so much.

There are, what I call, seed gifts (no that’s not biblical) that have produced skills, talents and abilities that have are “gifts.”  The “acorn” isn’t the gift but the “oak” is.

I want you to know something I “think.”  I think that if you look back at both the blessings and trials that He has provided you will see the “acorns.”  Then, look for the “oaks.”  I have worked with a lot of brothers and sister who, at some point in their lives, experienced horrible things.  I have noticed that they are so focused on the trauma that they miss the “oak” in the yard. 

That of which many are ashamed can be used by Him to His glory in His work.

2Co 1:3-4  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  (4)  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

That’s just one way he uses our “acorns” to grow “oaks.”  But remember, we are not to take pride in our having been comforted rather we are to take pride in the comforter.

2Ti 2:20-21  Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable.  (21)  Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

With Paul, let us:  :  “In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God.” Rom 15:17

Peter’s Pen 1st Peter 3: 1-6

1Pe 3:1-6  Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,  (2)  when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  (3)  Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear--  (4)  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  (5)  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,  (6)  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Ok, we could go on multiple bunny trails here.

But, ladies, please remember that since the fall, husbands have been sinful.  Look at Abraham – nice guy – right?  Just lets his wife be thought of as his sister so he can save his own skin – regardless of the cost to her.

But – do remember that God intervened for her.  Trust Him to do so for you. 

Having said that, let me add kind of a caveat.  Abuse is abuse is abuse.  Danger is danger is danger.  God calls us to be His but that does not include being someone’s punching bag.  Sometimes you have to leave – and take the kids and the cat with you!  It is NEVER an easy decision and it is one about which there should be prayer and godly counsel. 

Now – about verses 3 – 4.

Ladies – Victoria’s Secret is – well – sin.  Pretty clothes are nice.  Being attractive is nice, but let me ask you this,  What are you seeking to attract, how are you seeking to attract it and the biggy, why? 

You’re not going to get a lecture here.  You will get an invitation to pray and to join with other godly women and discuss this. 

Just before I sat down to write this I was outside Le’ bou and noticed someone running across the street.  I just turned and looked.  I wish I hadn’t.  It was a young lady in a very short skirt wearing a thong.  Yeah – the skirt was that short. 

First I repented – I’ve made a covenant with my eyes and I incautiously looked.  Then I wondered, “Why would a woman dress that way?”  No, I’m not that stupid.

Patti (my wife) has taught me a lot about what you ladies face.  The onslaught of media telling you that you’re not good enough – in a sickening variety of ways. 

One night a V’s Secret commercial came on and being the fastest man alive on the remote, I changed channels (Patti taught me that).  I then asked Patti why they thought women wanted to see underwear on TV (yeah, dumb me).  It was a rhetorical question but I still got, “the look.”

In my career, working with professionals, I have at times helped them select their clothing.  Yes, I’ve done that with men and women.  What blew my mind was if a male client wanted a white dress shirt, he had 3 maybe 4 choices of collar and cuffs.  For my female clients, there were at least 8 choices and sometimes more.  Many of my female clients actually started buying men’s dress shirts and having them tailored to save money and time.

Let’s just get to the point.  It’s the world, the flesh and the devil who are “selling” you this clap-trap. 

Peter calls you to an inner adorning – but that doesn’t preclude being dressed well or attractively.  It does preclude being dressed seductively – or barely dressed.

Patti and I have had numerous discussions concerning why guys ogle gals.  I know I was taught to.  Yeah – it was “cool” to be crude.  You did it because “that’s what guys do.”  That just makes it a prevalent sin – perhaps an epidemic.

Please be kind to guys.  The redeemed ones are struggling and the unredeemed are dangerous. 

More than that, honor yourself and honor God.  Modesty doesn’t mean high collars and drab colors.  It doesn’t mean floor length skirts.  It doesn’t mean extremes - it just means – well – modesty.

Now verse 4 can be troublesome – but I think the point is for women to not be troublesome (men as well of course).  Patti has a passionate spirit about some things and a gentle and quiet spirit about other things – yeah, she yells at the TV.  But a gentle and quiet spirit shouldn’t mean, “sit down and shut up.” 

But – I’m gonna stop here.  Although I’ve had the honor of counseling many women, I am not one – never been one – and so I don’t understand like one.

Let me say this.  Sisters, get together to pray and talk about this.  All my answers will be “off” by several degrees.  Come together as sisters in Christ and set your own limits and boundaries.  Talk and pray about “how” you can do this – not “how” someone who’s not walked in your high heels would tell you to do this.

I have to say, I’m glad I’m not a female.  Ever since Adam let Eve down, women have gotten the short end of most of the sticks.  But remember:

1Ti 2:14  and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Why remember that?  Because it is clear to me that Adam knew what he was doing and so sin entered the world.  He betrayed not only God but Eve as well.  She was his perfect match and he stood there and allowed her to be deceived – what a jerk.  Hmmmmm maybe men have inherited “being a jerk” along with sin.