Peter’s Pen 1st Peter 3:7

1Pe 3:7  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Yeah, I know, six verses to wives and one for husbands.  And the verse to husbands doesn’t give any great detail.

Well guys, hang on to your hats – I’ve got a few things to say.

1.    Our wives, like Eve, are “helpers meet” for us.  OK – that means (as God is sovereign) that she’s our wife His will and we need them.  It was not good for Adam to be alone and it is not good for us either. (No, we’re not going to get into the “call” to singleness.)

2.    Our wives, like Eve, are under our care – our protection and our provision (all of which is under Him).  They are our responsibility – we are their under-shepherd.

3.    Our wives, like Eve, are being assaulted by the snake.  He still wants to deceive and confuse and misdirect.  We cannot be like Adam and just “be there.”  We have to take action – whether it’s direct or through prayer.  Do not be silent like Adam.

4.    Our wives, like Eve, are being told lies.  They are seductive  but perverse lies.  Every day in innumerable ways they are being told they are “not good enough.”  From their weight to their aging to the cereal they pick for the kids – they are being told they are failures.  Our (husbands’) voices have to over-ride the voices of the world the flesh and the devil.  We must sing the Song of Songs to our wives.

5.    Our wives, like Eve, are there to labor alongside us.  They (Adam and Eve) were given the care of the garden.  You may be the “head” of the household, but if you don’t know where the mustard is kept, you’re not a functional member of the household.

Let me comment on the phrase, “as with a weaker vessel (LITV).”

There is no getting around the fact that the word “weaker” carries a moral import.  Of all the possible definitions, I am inclined to the following: “By implication, meaning afflicted, distressed by oppression, calamity, and so forth.”  The reason is both practical and Biblical.  First, as I have listed above, the world, the flesh and the devil are in overdrive when it comes to women.  Second, since we are all under the grace and provision of God and God has demonstrated that He uses women for His glory, I have a hard time even considering that they are somehow less spiritually fit in Christ than men are.

I once thought of this:  “My wife is not a bucket, she’s an alabaster vase.”  The vase is by its nature less hardy than the bucket but it is of greater beauty and value.  Plus, you’d carry compost in a bucket but never in an alabaster vase.”

As husbands, we are commanded to be “showing honor” to this vessel – giving dignity to our wives.  You and I are commanded to live with our wives, “in an understanding way” (moral wisdom, such as is seen in right living).

“Understanding” = Knowledge - gnosis. Present and fragmentary knowledge as contrasted with epígnōsis, clear and exact knowledge which expresses a more thorough participation in the object or knowledge on the part of the knowledgeable subject.

Now, that is never going to just happen.  Our sinful default is selfishness.  We must take the time and make the effort to understand how she lives in the world, what her needs are and how we might bless her.  It has to be done on purpose!

The why is really simple – she’s your wife AND your sister in Christ.

The cost of not making every effort to obey?  Your prayers/worship will be cut off (hindered).

How can we do this?  I have no special words here.  Pray – study and ask her.  Determine in your heart that you want to obey and ask God to show you how to obey for her.  Formulas work in the lab and recipes work in the kitchen – but, your ministry to your wife will be as unique as she is.

Patti is hardly a “weaker” person than I am.  Emotionally and in many ways spiritually she is my better.  As I learned that, I have come to cherish it and cherish her.  I will be honest, I pray that we both go home to God together – one, because I’d miss her terribly and two, because I want to see her face when she gets there.  Silly – maybe – but it has greatly shaped my prayers and actions in regards to this most special gift God has honored me with.

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

http://tc2v1.blogspot.com/2012/08/walk-with-p-me-03-more-about-me-than-us.html

Walk with P & Me -03 More about me than us

Husbands, love your wives,

as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

so that he might present the church to himself in splendor,

without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,

that she might be holy and without blemish.

(Eph 5:25-27)

Pretty much an old “Yeah duhhh,” verse – right?  Well somehow it grew teeth for me.

As Patti and I walk together through our “next steps” I thought of this verse and several things bit me.

The first was, “and gave himself up for her.”  Boy that was a punch in the gut.  We, husbands, tend to feel we “give up” a lot for our families – and we do.  But here we see that we are to give up our self for our wives.  OK maybe Sunday night football or a round of golf – but myself?  Ouch.

It’s interesting how that got twisted over time.  We talk about a wife’s sacrifice for her husband – her making a home, raising the kids.  Yeah, I know, that’s biblical.  But just like that’s gotten all out of whack in our culture so has the sacrifice we husbands are to make.

It’s a specific sacrifice – it is “for her.”  Not security, not things but for her.  Which makes me wonder what Patti needs for me to sacrifice about me; and how do I give up me?

Reading or shooting is one thing – me is another.

This has made it to my “Huh?” prayer list.  That’s the list of things I need to pray about that I don’t quite “get” what I need to pray about.  I know that if I asked her she’d say, “Nothing,” with that sweet Irish smile but also that raised Jewish eyebrow. 

This is, at least to me, a bit beyond, “Honey what can I do to help.”  It’s also beyond, “What’s one thing about me you’d like me to change?”  This my fellow husbands looks and feels like, well, the Word and the Spirit stuff.

No, not some airy-fairy, incense and weirdness thing but a search my soul thing.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that this looks and feels like something bigger than either of us could discern – especially in our flesh.  This is – ginormous!

So – do you have a “Huh?” prayer list?  You might want to start one and put this down first.  So far my mind wants to go to all the worldly happy things that I could do for or provide for her.  But I think that would miss the mark.  I want Patti to enjoy the full assurance of her redemption and the full joy of serving Him.

Read the verse paying particular attention to what follows:

Loves….her

that he might….her

so that he might….her

that she might….

Oh, that we might that our wives might.  We can, but only in His might.

I am grateful in a new way for His forgiveness and for His instruction.

No, I don’t know how to give up me for her – I’ve got some ideas but I don’t want to let my flesh feed my function – soooo  it’s prayer time.