Why wait till I'm dead?

Some of the letters of John Newton were published after he went "home."  These have always been a true blessing to me and I have often wondered how many more would have been blessed had they been published in his life-time.  But - He is sovereign.


I believe that if we are without practical applications for the beliefs we hold then holding those beliefs is, well, frustrating and just bad.  But we have long surrendered the true meaning of disciple and have found quick fix programs and seminars more to our liking.  This is a fact I mourn and well, despise.  So we're gonna do some disciple training here - intermittently, intimately and dynamically. 


The following set the circumstances and presents some of the problems.  Join in - jump in.  The catalyst for doing this has been prayer, conviction and Richard Sibbes' book, The Soul's Conflict With Itself.  Walk with us but remember, ministry is messy.  If this is not your cup of tea just pass them by.

Come, walk with us ----

In most of the passages in scripture that deal with perseverance it is in relation to persecution and/or temptation.  At this point in our sojourn Patti and I are facing trials which have little to do with persecution or temptations are none the less frightening and pressing.  So I’ve chosen to do a little finger thinking and share with you what I am learning – or need to learn.  I can’t get more practical in my writing than that.

Of course, like it is for so many of you times are tough.  A recent serious decease in out income has put us in a tenuous (to say the least) positron.  As a tent-maker I have rarely sough the support of others although there have been and are some kind souls who have shared with us to help in meeting our needs.

Right now the temptation is to either fight or flee.   To either take the bull by the horns or just run away.  The desire to “fix” it is one of the biggest problems.  The flesh in it’ incessant bid for control conjures up all kind of schemes and ideas and vaporous imaginings.  It also encourages one to rail at God and others about how we’ve served and not we suffer (OK – it feels like suffering but that is relative).

The temptation to cry out “Where are you?” both to God an others is very strong but from the bitterness and arrogance I can detect underneath that impulse it is very clear it is from the flesh.  He and others have been there.  He and some are still there.  But when one has a sense of drowning, rational reflection is very very difficult.

Another temptation is to be over burdened with blame.  To play the, “I should have…” game on myself.  The thoughts that had I only stayed in law enforcement or if I had only gone on in  my education to be a psychologist/counselor haunts me.  I look back at the decision to take up the ministry I believed I was called to and have feelings of shame and guilt.  Being the head of my household just makes it worse.

Then there is the lovely thought (sarcasm) that Patti would be better off without me and that if she’d just move and live with some of her family her life would be better.  She certainly deserves better.  She has sacrificed and is firm in her conviction that we (that is I) have done the right thing and that I should continue.  But the little voices tell me she loves me and want to encourage men and that though this is sweet it’s just her being nice.

Of course then we have to figure in the embarrassment of what may come as well as the losses.  The potential losses aren’t so bad for us – we’ve got too much “stuff” and if we could have a monster yard sale I don’t think we’d miss much of what went.   As long as I don’t even consider selling Patti’s mom’s Chinese vases I’m safe ;-}.

Pride – pride has never been such a monster for me.  Harboring that silly thought that somehow I am in charge and this shouldn’t be happening and all that “stuff” steals precious moments from each day keeping me from prayer and study and writing. 

Then there’s that slithery thought that I have been wrong – very wrong in thinking that such a weird and chaotic ministry could ever have come from Him.  I await that invisible committee that comes with a chorus of either, “We could have told you..” or “We never thought it was a real “ministry” anyway – we just considered it your delusion – your error.”  And of course there’s that other comment/thought, “You should have gotten a REAL job.”

Yes, the flesh is alive and well in me.  Of course I knew that – I know that.  The hard part is to discern where the flesh is using truth to drive me more towards myself and from God. 

It’s kind of funny that I should have been reading Richard’s Sibbes’ work, The Soul’s Conflict With itself; And Victory Over Itself By Faith.  That’s the book I’ve made so many FB posts from.

I told Patti that had it not been for reading that book and the scriptures referenced I would have yielded to the flesh instead of resisting it.  I’ll share with you (more briefly than here) as we move through this time.  I hope to be candid and honest for your benefit and to help me see what’s going on in my heart and mind as well.

Sibbes wrote:  “Ignorance, being darkness, is full of false fears. In the night time men think every bush a thief.”  Sibbes, Richard (2012-04-24). The Soul's Conflict With Itself: And Victory Over Itself By Faith. (pp. 47-48). A Puritan At Heart Press. Kindle Edition.

So, with your indulgence, I’ll share with you as I work on dispelling the ignorance/darkness that my flesh seeks to impose and grow.

Your prayers are of course greatly desired.  Though your counsel, encouragement and consolation would be a great blessing please remember that in the dark, all cats are grey.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,

compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

(Col 3:12)

Blast from the Past

Nailed to the door . . . .  061011

We know the world is “going to hell in a hand-basket,” so to speak, but what about the “church”?  What’s it going to hell in?

What?  Did he just say the “church” is going to hell?  Well, yes and no.

Any careful reading of scripture makes it very very clear that the “church” - that is the institution that bears that name, is NOT ever going to be healthy until He comes.

The Gospels and the Apostolic Writings all make it very plain that the institution will be rife with tares, and goats, and wolves, false prophets, mean people and satanic servants.  That’s just a fact.  A sad fact - but a fact.

We love to talk about how the “church” has compromised with the world.  So, what’s new?  First Church of Corinth  is not unique. 

Of course the “church” has compromised with the world.  Of course there are tares and goats.  He said there would be.  What’s the big deal?

Too much of our attention today is taken up by, “us and them,” and not enough time is intentionally focused on, “me and Him.”

From Paul the Apostle to Barna’s analytics it is clear that the “church” as an institution has been and  would always be corrupted to one extent of the other.  What do we think the Reformation was all about?  As bad as it was, what was the true purpose of the Inquisition?

OK - rant over.  Point to keep - It is not about US and THEM - the necessary focus must be ME and HIM.

He is the one responsible for the security of the church. We have other things to do in reference to “church.”

Eph. 4:11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

It’s great to warn and admonish - even to correct and discipline those who may be tares or goats or even wolves but that does not make for what He aims us at in Eph. 4.  There is and always has been only one Lord Protector of the Faith and it wasn’t Oliver Cromwell!..It is Jesus the Messiah our Redeemer.

In my view we make too big a deal and spend too much time looking for the tares (etc.) and not enough time striving to;
equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

There was a day and there were a people (somewhere there still are) who understood that WE weren’t the point, He was.  They were serious about their faith - both in terms of the truth to be held and the truth to be lived.  They understood the dire necessity of studying the Word and that this was not a, “take the course,” or “:do the work book,” but rather a lifetime duty of every believer.

There are those that are referred to as nominal Christians - that is Christians in name only but the problem with that is - they aren’t Christian.  Why do we play this name game?  Where is the mutual and biblical expectancy that those who claim Christ as Lord will live as Christ is Lord? 

It’s easy to talk about the “church” as something out there.  But the plain fact of the matter is that only those who are slaves to the only Lord are the church.  Yes, there are different levels of maturity but more and more that maturity is measured by time and not by knowledge, understanding and living.  One can be in the “church” all their lives and still not be a believer, much less a slave to Christ.

Paul hit the nail on the head when he says:
1 Corinthians 11:28
Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.
2 Corinthians 13:5
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?-unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

With these words of admonition why are we so prone to spending time, money and effort determining who is or isn’t the church.  Why are we not focusing on how the world, the flesh and the devil work to get us - individually - to compromise.

Sure, I’m troubled by all the “marketing” junk and “seeker sensitive” garbage not to mention the watering down of God’s holiness the minimization of Christ’s Lordship and the prostituting of Grace.  I do worry about the “church” as a institution.  But we will not stand collectively before Him.  He did not die for an institution and the Spirit is given the the church via each individual not en-mass.

OK - my point is that the corruption of the church as an institution is a wonderfully powerful distraction.  It distracts us - each of us - from our obligation to grow in Him, to serve Him and to serve each other. Why do I need to be consistently told that “they” or “that” is wrong?  What good does that do me?  How does that aid me in being a good a faithful servant?

Yeah, I’m pretty self-focused when it come to following Him.  Sure I want to encourage, admonish, support, even goad my brothers and sisters but when we let ourselves get distracted by the outrageous actions of questionable believers we run the grave dangers of pride and self-complacency.

What I hope and pray consider is taking aserious look at what might be distracting you from your own personal growth in the knowledge and following of Him.  It's just too easy to look at the big picture and stand there like a dear in headlights.  It is through each of us He intendes to work - WE are the church - the church isn't an "it."

It is a biblical principle that is part of the body suffers it all suffers.  if part of the body is weak, it is all weak.  No part is inconsequential of unimportant.  that means YOU and ME individually are primarily responsible for our individual following of Him.  Perhaps, if we took that individual responsibility and applied the fanaticism we apply to "christian causes," the Church would be healthy.

Consider:

"What we want, if men become Christians at all, is to keep them in a state of mind I call 'Christianity And'.  You know-Christianity and the Crisis, Christianity and the New Psychology, Christianity and the New order, Christianity and Faith Healing, Christianity and Psychical Research, Christianity and Vegetarianism . . .  If they must be Christians let them at least be Christians with a difference.  Substituting for the faith itself some Fashion with a Christian coloring.  Work on their horror of the Same Old Thing."   Screwtape

That, Same Old Thing, is Bible Study, Prayer, Worship, Fellowship, Service.  That same old thing is laboring to grow in His likeness.  In the final analysis it will not be what we stand against nor will it be what we stand for.  In the final analysis is will be Who makes us stand and how faithfully we (you and I) stand.

a little piece of me 040612

A little piece of me…….  040612

I’ve shared this with a lot of folks but I want to get it “out there,” in the hope that the Lord will use it to strengthen you and close your ears to the lies Satan – and folks – have driven into your ears and hence into your heart.

In graduate school my first semester ended and the grades and class standing were listed.  I fought the desire to look for I knew it would be a disappointment.  Finally I had to look.

I was in shock.  There I was on the Dean’s List. – the good Dean’s List ;-}

I just knew this had to be a mistake.

I took the list off the board and went to the Dean’s office to show him the mistake.

He checked the records and told me there was no mistake; my GPA put me on the Dean’s List.

I didn’t believe him.

I put the list back on the board and walked away thinking that my professors had felt sorry for me and had given me grades I had not earned because they felt sorry for me.

Huh?

Yep – you see I grew up being told loudly and clearly that I was stupid, clumsy and a sissy.  My father worked very hard to convince me of that and he was good at it.  By the time I got to graduate school I had proven (to my satisfaction) that I was neither a clutz nor a sissy.  But stupid was hanging’ in.

I was a slave to my father’s demands, judgments and condemnations.  I still saw me as he taught me to see me.

So what’s the point?

Well, before Christ let me know I was His I was a slave to the demands, judgments and condemnation of Satan – sin and my flesh.  They defined me – utterly.  One common theme in this is, “Not good enough!”  I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t go out drinking.  I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t do the macho-tough guy thing.  I wasn’t good enough if I wasn’t sexually promiscuous.  I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t keep up with my sinful companions in most if not all of their sinful activities.

This was a sinful, warped and twisted legalism I was caught up in and I don’t think it was unusual.  I HAD to be as good as if not better than any other sinner in my sinning.

So, in come Jesus and the Spirit.  I am convicted of my sin, convinced of my need for redemption and begin to seek to live a righteous life.

BOOM ---- “Not good enough!!!!!!”

Everywhere I looked I saw my sin – still!  In the word, in the fellowship, in the “you have to’s” of older believers – I was not good enough.

What pray tell was the problem?

Simple – I walked into the Kingdom of God laying aside sins but still carrying the legalism I had been taught while I was in darkness.  Then I had not been good enough for the world the flesh or the devil – now I wasn’t good enough for God.

Don’t thin for a moment that unbelievers are free.  They are not only under the judgment of the laws of God BUT the world-flesh-and devil have their own laws they expect their servants to obey.

Izod golf shirts, alligator belts with silver monogramed buckles, green Army fatigues and white Adidas tennis shoes.  If you didn’t have ‘em you weren’t good enough.  If you wore only one or two of these items you were a poser.

Alcohol, drugs, sex are all criteria by which the world-flesh and devil measure us while we are in the darkness.  Sitting here writing there are three females who must be convinced that to expose as much of their bodies as possible in public is a good thing.  (Yeah- I’m keeping my eyes on the keyboard!!!!!

See, Satan is the greatest legalist there is.  With him, in his kingdom (?) there is no mercy, no grace – just judgment and condemnation for not being as obedient to him-the flesh and the world as you can be.

And this legalistic thinking walks right into the Kingdom of God – the Kingdom of grace - with us.

After the first liberating joy of finding we are His we soon fall victim to this legalistic poison.  We realize that we are not in ourselves worthy.  We are not good enough.  Oh, we knew that at the moment we realized our redemption but the poison is still flows.

Somehow we’ve come to believe that doing battle with the flesh and the sin that remains is a bad thing and calls into question our salvation.  But it is this very battle that confirms our redemption and affirms our faith.  Why else would we notice much less fight unrighteousness?

Grace is an alien concept to us and regardless of our maturation in the faith it will probably always be alien.  We have NO well of knowledge from which to draw that enables us to be completely comfortable with grace.  Maybe this is how it is supposed to be.

But we do have a lifetime of experience with legalism and condemnation.  We well know the devastating effects, the insidious schemes, and the toxicity of legalism.  We must battle its influence constantly both in regards to our walk with Him and our lives in general.

I still battle thoughts of being stupid – not good enough – socially, financially, professionally and spiritually.  But I always – all ways – remind myself who it is that’s doing the measuring.  Socially, financially professionally it is the world, the flesh and the devil.  Spiritually it is my Redeemer the One who knew my need and met that need completely.  I am not nor will I ever be good enough to be Him.  But by His grace and because of His work he has made me good enough to be His and He keeps me there regardless.

Comments?