This and That: Just on my mind. 091912

Psa 42:11  Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Here’s the conundrum:  How do we know it is our soul and not our flesh that is “cast down?”

We all get bummed out, anxious, sad and even find ourselves in turmoil.  But is it because of some factor related to our walk or is it because our flesh is not satisfied?

I know, it all related to our faith but it is critical that we examine our turmoil as to its source.

Ok – me – my favorite bad example.  I have a situation which can end in something good, something bad or just remain the same.  It’s a situation on which I have labored hard, told the truth (even though they didn’t want to hear it) and been faithful to Him.  In anticipation of the meeting I have today I am cast down.  Why?

Well, my flesh wants the kudos and rewards that we espect to come from having done a task  well and with ingrity.  My flesh thinks that I ought to get “goodies,” for having done this task with such diligence.  Anticipating a bad outcome my flesh gets angry and bitter.  Anticipating things staying the same my flesh is disgruntled but OK.  Anticipating the bad result my pride and fleshly expectations want to argue with god for the better result – and the meeting isn’t for seven hours.

My flesh operates according to the “myths” the world offers.  Work hard, do good and good things will result.  Always tell the truth and good things will result.  Yeah, tell it to Paul!

My flesh is always looking for its own advantage and benefit.  It carries a sense of being “owed” something.  It believes it deserves good stuff and when it does not get it – the pity party starts.

There are two factors at work here.  When I was growing up  and even into my adult years I was part of a family but not.  I was once asked to describe my role in my family and I replied, “Invisible.”  I spent a lot of my life asking, “When is it my turn to get the attention and care?”  “When is it my turn to be the center of attention?”  The reasons are a long story--------

That flesh-wound has stayed with me and plagued me for all my years.  So when I find myself in turmoil, when I have a sense of my soul being cast down that’s the first place I go.  Typically I find that that flesh-wound is the source of my discontent.

We all have flesh-wounds we carry that affect our affections (feelings and perceptions).  What we need to do is to identify them well enough to be able to discern when they are at the root of our turmoil or discontent.

Now, you may ask why this flesh wound has not been healed.  I have no idea.  It has grown less effective but it is still there.  Perhaps it is a left-handed blessing.  Perhaps it serves His purpose in my life or the lives of those I serve. 

The cousin to my question is, “Why is this happening to me?”  both questions are worth examining for our God is sovereign and nothing happens by chance.  There is a purpose for every trial, every temptation.  Of that we can be sure

But the bottom line is, “Is it a question or a complaint?”  Am I seeking God’s will and purpose or am I  grousing because either don’t have what I want or have something I don’t want?

How much of the energy behind my turmoil comes from the spirit and how much from the flesh?  How much is about Him and how much is about me?  am I disquieted or dissatisfied?

If I am disquieted I feel pretty good about it being from my spirit.  If I am dissatisfied I am pretty sure it’s my flesh.

Why nit-pick?  The solution of both is of course to draw near to Him. But my spirit needs to grow and my flesh needs to, as the Puritans said, “be mortified,” or die.

So discerning which of the two has the most energy and influence is important.  It will guide my prayer and other duties.  It will make me alert to temptation and sin as well as the blessings of discipline and training.

You may respond, “Why worry about it, trust God and move on.”  Well, that’s all well and good but it does matter – it matters whether the mass in one’s abdomen is a cyst, tumor or a mass due to diverticulitis.  The first two need surgery the other needs medication.   My spirit needs communion with God in prayer, study, fellowship and worship.  The other, just needs to die.

So, as I prepare for my meeting I have to examine my spirit qand the source of its turmoil.  In this case the flesh wins.  Regardless of the “news” I get I was faithful to Him and hopefully I honored Him in the work I did.  How can I be uneasy because of that?  What I am uneasy about is how “they” reacted to my work and how that will affect my future provision.  But, my future provision was never in their hands anyway so whatever the result the One who has always been in charge is still in charge.

So my prayers are directed more to the killing of the flesh than to the preferred results.  God knows quite well what I want – but – more comforting – God well knows what I need.

Any questions?

3 hours 'till the meeting - everybody pray!!  ;-}}}}}