Love 1

Loving

I have always been intrigued by the conversation Jesus and Peter have in John 21.  It begins with:

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."   (John 21:15)

There’s an exciting play on words happening throughout the whole conversation.  The words are αγαπας (agapas) and φιλω  (philo or phileo).

The difference between these words is not to be seen in terms of good and bad but rather good and better.

Jesus asks Peter if Peter loves Him αγαπας (agapas).  Peter responds with, I love you, φιλω (philo or phileo).  These are not two different types of love as much as they are different degrees of love.

Phileo is a brotherly/comradely type of love.  It is not some fussy bunny love.  It is a love that carries not only a natural affection but a personal commitment as well.  There is a bond, perhaps inexplicable but a bond none-the-less.  There is also a commitment to the one loved.  So it should never be seen as a deficient sort of love.  Though this love comes with its own set of expectations of the lover and beloved it is not an uncommon love.  We could say it is natural and common.  It is a love that ‘happens” between people but it is also a love that grows and matures over time.  It’s a good love.

Agapas (or agape) is a better love.  It has within it and may very well begin with phileo but it goes further.  It has been defined as a love that demands nothing of the loved but I see a danger in this definition.  It is a love that always seeks the best for the loved one – even if the loved one doesn’t agree that it is love.

Here’s the way I define it for myself.  Agape is love on purpose.  The purpose is to glorify god in my relationship with the beloved.  It has nothing to do with the beloved except as God can be glorified in the relationship. 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  (1Cor 13:4-7)

Is/Does Not	Is/Does
Envy or Boast	Patient & Kind
Arrogant/Rude	Rejoices (with truth)
Insist on its own way	Bears
Irritable/Resentful	Believes
Rejoice in wrongdoing	Hopes
	Endures

This is not a love that just happens!  There are clear expectations of a claim to this kind of love and they are tough.  A person does not just decide to love this way and then jump in – OK maybe they do – but they’re in for a burn!

When we are commanded to “love one another” this is the love we are called to have.  To me this is the horizontal equivalent of, “be Holy as I am Holy.”  In and of my own efforts, this is just not gonna happen.  Ever.

But, like God’s call to holiness, His call to love is not impossible.  He’d be an awful silly god if He called us to something utterly beyond us.  But, as with the holiness He commands so too with the love He commands – He makes it possible.  As with holiness, love of this nature demands His provision and our attention.  His effort and our effort.  His commitment and our commitment.  AND He has provided, expended a fulfilling effort and He is utterly committed.  Our turn!!!!

Here’s why we need Him – duhhhhhh.  We are called to love our neighbor AND to love our enemy and it’s this degree of love we are to express to both.  My first and regular reaction is still, “Yeah, right, like that’s gonna happen.”  That’s just the truth.  My first impulse with my enemies is to “Gibbs smack ‘em.”   That’s a weakening vestige of my nature and nurture.  Someone opposes you – attacks you, you don’t defend, you annihilate them physically (thanks Dad!) or emotionally (thanks Mom!).  Remember, if you’re raised on a hog farm you get used to the smell – when you’re raised in bedlam, nutz seems normal.

I don’t want to love my enemies (do you, really?).  But I do want to love Him.  So I must decide, against my nature (fallen) and nurture (insane) to love them.  I know my knee jerk is going to be to jerk them – so it doesn’t shock me.  But is doesn’t control me either.  It’s a part (a weakening part – praise God) of me.  I don’t rebuke it, attach it or beat myself up about it.  I just don’t do it!!!!!  Instead I go to Him and wink – He knows my struggles and He’s not surprised either.  But, both He and I do not want me to yield to that stuff.  He WANTS me to love and He provides what I don’t have to do it.

So, what’s my end of the stick?  What can I do to cooperate with His desire for me?  Huh?  See, that’s the wonderful thing about our Covenant Lord.  He lets us actually take an active part in what He wants to see in us.  He knows we aren’t dummies – He knows that (with what he provides) we can do a lot to engage His provision, to use it!

Three basic admonitions help me – but they take work – a lot of hard and consistent work.  But remember, what I do is only my part; it is not the whole solution.  I have to believe that nothing I do of myself will ever accomplish this and I have to believe that what He does in me is absolutely and utterly essential.

Admonition 1:

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  (Rom 12:1-2)

I can, resist the world’s desire to mold me and I can renew my mind.  Simply put I say “No” to the world’s answers and definitions and “Yes” to His.  Both of these take work.  We can’t just sing, “Have Thine own way Lord,” and then sit like fungus on a log.

Admonition 2:

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, (2Cor 10:5)

Ok, I’m stretching the context of this verse but that does not mean the application is wrong.  I have to take every thought captive.  That means I have to be aware of my thoughts (and the thoughts of others that enter my mind).  I have to grab ‘em before they sink in and I have to wring them out.  They are leaven and they will leaven the whole loaf!  I must work to control my thoughts and the thoughts that I am bombarded with daily. 

Not loving as I am called to comes from arguments and lofty opinions raised against the knowledge of God.  Period.  I have to stop them dead in their little neural tracks.  I have to (and sometimes I do it out loud) say “NO!”  I don’t argue with them, I don’t try to defeat them. I just need to arrest them – to lock them up (or out).

Admonition 3:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.  (Php 4:8-9)

Think about these things!  We like to concentrate on the adjectives in this passage and well we should BUT that’s not the key.  The key is:

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice!!!!

It is not having sweet thoughts that is key; it is having biblical thoughts – sound theological/doctrinal thoughts.  HUH???????

John Frame (and you ought to get and read his books!) defines theology as follows:

I would suggest that we define theology as “the application of the Word of God by persons to all areas of life.”   The Doctrine of the Knowledge of God, p. 81.

Notice that john uses the word, “persons” and not the words theologians, bible scholars, preachers. Etc.   It is persons, you and I.  By this definition, theology is not something you know, it’s something you do based upon something you know – and what you need to know is

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice!!!!

I’d say Paul would have little problem agreeing with this definition of theology.  It is the practice of the biblical truths we know and the consistent growth in both the knowing and the doing.

That’s the only way I know of that we will grow in our ability to love as God has called us to love.  Just sitting like fungus on a log waiting for God to do His thing is not service/worship, it’s just a waste. 

OK – that’s a start.  Any questions?  I know there have to be – or at least need to be.  What are they?