Sunday, October 23, 2011

Loving 3

Jesus was asked about whom our neighbors are whom we are to love.  His answer was fundamentally everyone.  It is curious that He wasn’t asked who our enemies are.  I really wish someone had thought to ask Him.

But in the context of His teaching it is not a big leap to grasp that our enemies are our neighbors, our families, and Satan.

Now what I mean is that as far as we are concerned everyone is our neighbor (even family) but among that everyone we have enemies. 

Mmmmmm.

It is clear from His teaching that I am not to “hate,” anyone.  The word “hate,” is the Greek word:  μισέω     miseō

Thayer Definition:

1) to hate, pursue with hatred, detest

2) to be hated, detested

 

But for me to hate, detest, etc. anyone would be to murder them – right?    Welllllll – not quite.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

(Luke 14:26)

“Houston, we have a problem!”  Jesus uses the same work for hate here that He uses elsewhere.  But perhaps we can clarify a little.

 

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

(Mat 6:24)

Same word for hate.  Uhhhhhhhhhh?

 

But this does give us a hint.  Anything and by extension anyone who seeks to hold a greater place in my life that the Christ is – my enemy.  If I compare my love and loyalty to the Christ with my love and loyalty to anything (one) else my affection for the “other” should look like hate.  If I am to make a choice using the terms love and hate – then I must love Jesus and hate everyone (thing) else.  NOTE:  If I MUST choose!

 

Anyone and anything that seeks to claim my loyalty over my loyalty to Him is my enemy and I must hate it/them.  But they are also my neighbor so …….

To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."   (Rom 12:20)

I really hope this makes you as nutz as it does me!!!  This is tough – or is it?

 

Loving my “neighbor” while hating my “enemy,” seems to be a conflict, especially when they are the same people.  Well, it is!  Actually, it’s not gonna happen unless I really lean on Him.

 

I don’t want to engage in silly sophistry but I had to work this out in my own head and I will share my thinking with you.

 

I have neighbors.  I am to love them.  I don’t get to make a choice, they are ALL my neighbors!

That is what he tells me.

 

Now, some of my neighbors will take a stand (and even action) that threatens or even harms me.  That is their choice.  They have chosen to be or at least act like enemies toward me.  Not my problem (maybe my pain but not my problem).  I am not called to make them friends but I am called to treat them as neighbors – to (ouch) love them.

 

I try to keep it straight in my head this way.  You may choose to act like or even be an “enemy” towards me.  BUT, I don’t get to act like of be and “enemy” towards you.  I don’t get to designate myself as an enemy of anyone.  They can designate themselves as an enemy towards me but I do not get to reciprocate.

 

That to me is what all the cheek slapping stuff is about.  My enemy slaps me (literally or figuratively) so I offer the other cheek (or cheeks if you want to be earthy ;0).  I get to love them – period.

 

But we have to also consider that people will choose to be our enemies for reasons other than our faith.  OK.  We love them too.  We do what honors God in our relationship with our enemies.  We may want and even try to make friends of them but that is secondary to honoring God and it is sometimes just not possible to be “friends” because that will require a compromise that hinders our honoring God.

 

I have an enemy (ok – probably moiré than one) who has made it plain they are my enemy.  I have to live with that.  Yes, I have tried to reason with then concerning the issue for which they are my enemy.  I have lovingly tried to help them see that what they think I believe about their lifestyle does not make me their enemy but they hold that if I am not for them I am their enemy.  (Sound familiar?? Mat 6:24) 

 

So what do I do?  Well first I pray for them.  Second (and in some cases it’s the most loving thing you can do) I avoid them completely.

 

There is the wife of an old friend.  For at least 9 years she has chosen to be my enemy.  I have seen her in public a lot and I really believe that I could set myself on fire and she would not acknowledge me.  Once, in all that time, in a social situation where civility and propriety demanded it, she spoke to me.  She has chosen to be my enemy.  Her husband is not allowed to have contact with me and we have been (or had been??) friends for almost 20 years. 

 

It is tempting to attack – to give as good as I get.  To disparage them both at every opportunity.  The situation hurts – badly – especially since the reason for the situation is based upon an utterly false belief.  But what do I do?

 

Pray – pray – hurt – pray some more AND commit myself to being there should they ever need me.  Oh, it’s tempting to just wait anxiously for something to happen in their lives over which I could gloat.  It’s tempting to join into critical conversations about them.  It’s tempting to arrogantly dismiss them as insignificant.  But, well, I just don’t get to do those things.  I’m tempted and have all sorts of rationalizations for sinning against them in retaliation but – well – I just don’t get to do that.  Wanting to do that?  I wrestle with that and pray about that and reject that.  But, yeah, the thoughts creep in sometimes.  I just say, “No!”

 

Enemies – you don’t get to have ‘em.  They may be there but they have chosen to view and treat you as an enemy – you don’t get to do the same. 

 

Ok – one more point.  Just because someone sins against you does not make then an enemy.  It just makes them someone who sins against you.  We should expect and not be shocked when unbelievers do this, it’s what they do.  We are correctly shocked when a brother or sister in Christ sins against us – but, again, it happens. 

 

An enemy is someone who has decided to pursue you, detest you and hate you with all the accompanying actions and attitudes.  An enemy can be your neighbor.  An enemy can be a family member.  An enemy can be a brother or sister in Christ.  But you and I don’t get to make that choice.  Like POGO – actually to paraphrase POGO, “I have met my enemy and it is me.”

 

Loving them??????  Well the fundamental question is, “How do I bring glory to God in relation to this person (or these people) who has decided to be my enemies?” 

 

That’s a tough one.  The answer is always PRAY for and about them.  But our response can range all the way from praying for them as we utterly avoid them to praying for them as they press the barrel of the gun to our heads and pull the trigger. 

 

Jesus and Stephen – Mmmmmmmmm?!?   There ya go!

 

Hope this helps you think.  Any questions?  ms@ec4v12.org

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