You know who I mean. These are folks who for some reason make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. You see them and your stomach does flip-flops. Personally, I tend to growl, at which point Patti gives me an elbow.
These are the folks for whom you just can’t conjure up loving feelings. Perhaps you even struggle to subdue sinful feelings. They may not be “enemies” but they certainly aren’t “friends.”
I like the word “provoke.” When I am around these folks I have a sense of being provoked, prodded, poked. Something about them or something in the relationship just does not click. Not only does it not click but it’s like fingernails on a blackboard. Sometimes even thinking about them pushes the “provoked” button. So, we “make nice,” until we just have to leave.
OK, the first mistake we have made is to think we have to have warm fuzzy happy feelings towards everyone. That’s not love. Yes, affection is a part of “luv” but the love we’re called to have for others (all others) does not require affection for them. So, quit trying to have warm fuzzies and start learning to love.
Huh?
Let me belabor the concept of Biblical love. We irritate the goobers out of God and yet He loves us. God, being so much more able than we are, is able to have affection for us – even when we make Him crazy. We,on the other hand, struggle with sin – ours and others – so we have more in the mix and it’s not good stuff.
Those who are “our unlovables” are unloveable (no affection) for a reason. Note: a reason is not an excuse. We are not called to have warm fuzzies for the abuser, maligner, critic or condemner.
We respond/react to these people with, well, anger. But, and this is my perspective, anger is a secondary thing. I have never known a person (even me) to be angry if there was not some pain and/or fear underlying it. It may not be that I am hurt or afraid for myself but the hurt/fear is there.
So, in order to protect myself, I get angry. I could list some folks that I get angry about just thinking about them. Notice I didn’t say they “make” me angry. They “make” me afraid or hurt – I use anger as a wall (or a stick) to keep them at a distance.
Paul tells us:
Eph 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, (27) and give no opportunity to the devil.
The word translated “angry” is οργιζεσθε / orgizesthe its family follows:
οργίζω orgizō
Thayer Definition:
1) to provoke, to arouse to anger
2) to be provoked to anger, be angry, be wroth
It is related to:
οργή orgē
Thayer Definition:
1) anger, the natural disposition, temper, character
2) movement or agitation of the soul, impulse, desire, any violent emotion, but especially anger
3) anger, wrath, indignation
4) anger exhibited in punishment, hence used for punishment itself
4a) of punishments inflicted by magistrates
And
ορέγομαι oregomai
Thayer Definition:
1) to stretch one’s self out in order to touch or to grasp something, to reach after or desire something
2) to give one’s self up to the love of money
And
ορος oros
Thayer Definition:
1) a mountain
Are you getting a picture of this?
A related term is found in the OT.
כּעס kaas;
a prim. root; to be vexed or angry: - anger (3), angry (4), demoralized *(1), make me angry (1), provoke (5), provoke him to anger (2), provoke me to anger (8), provoke them to anger (1), provoked (7), provoked him to anger (2), provoked me to anger (2), provoked the to anger (1), provoked to anger (1), provoking (7), provoking him to anger (2), provoking me to anger (4), provoking the to anger (1), spite (2), trouble (1), vexation (1), vexed (1).
Deu_4:25 Deu_9:18 Deu_32:21 1Sa_1:6 1Sa_1:7 1Ki_16:33 2Ki_14:10 2Ki_22:17 2Ch_25:19 2Ch_34:25 Job_12:6 Isa_65:3 Jer_7:18 Jer_25:6 Jer_25:7 Jer_32:29 Jer_32:30 Jer_32:32 Jer_44:8 Eze_8:17 Eze_16:26
We are “provoked” (hurt or scared) and we respond with anger. It is NOT unnatural. I’d even go so far as to say that being provoked is not a sin. BUT there’s sin connected in there somewhere. Paul tells us we will be provoked/angered but that we are not to let it ferment. When we are provoked/angered we are to NOT SIN.
Now I don’t believe this means we can just go through life being provoked and as long as we don’t sin, it’s OK. We have to deal with what’s going on inside of us that facilitates the provocation.
Stop - look back at the definitions and consider those "unlovables" in your life. What's the "provocation?"
More later . . . .
Michael
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