Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
washing of water with the word,
so that he might present the church to himself in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish.
(Eph 5:25-27)
Pretty much an old “Yeah duhhh,” verse – right? Well somehow it grew teeth for me.
As Patti and I walk together through our “next steps” I
thought of this verse and several things bit me.
The first was, “and gave himself up for her.” Boy that was a
punch in the gut. We, husbands, tend to
feel we “give up” a lot for our families – and we do. But here we see that we are to give up our self for our wives. OK maybe Sunday
night football or a round of golf – but myself?
Ouch.
It’s interesting how that got twisted over time. We talk about a wife’s sacrifice for her
husband – her making a home, raising the kids.
Yeah, I know, that’s biblical.
But just like that’s gotten all out of whack in our culture so has the
sacrifice we husbands are to make.
It’s a specific sacrifice – it is “for her.” Not security, not things but for her. Which makes me wonder what Patti needs for me
to sacrifice about me; and how do I give up me?
Reading or shooting is one thing – me is another.
This has made it to my “Huh?” prayer list. That’s the list of things I need to pray
about that I don’t quite “get” what I need to pray about. I know that if I asked her she’d say,
“Nothing,” with that sweet Irish smile but also that raised Jewish eyebrow.
This is, at least to me, a bit beyond, “Honey what can I do
to help.” It’s also beyond, “What’s one
thing about me you’d like me to change?”
This my fellow husbands looks and feels like, well, the Word and the
Spirit stuff.
No, not some airy-fairy, incense and weirdness thing but a
search my soul thing. I guess what I’m
trying to say is that this looks and feels like something bigger than either of
us could discern – especially in our flesh.
This is – ginormous!
So – do you have a “Huh?” prayer list? You might want to start one and put this down
first. So far my mind wants to go to all
the worldly happy things that I could do for or provide for her. But I think that would miss the mark. I want Patti to enjoy the full assurance of
her redemption and the full joy of serving Him.
Read the verse paying particular attention to what follows:
Loves….her
that he might….her
so that he might….her
that she might….
Oh, that we might
that our wives might. We can, but only
in His might.
I am grateful in a
new way for His forgiveness and for His instruction.
No, I don’t know how to give up me for her – I’ve got some
ideas but I don’t want to let my flesh feed my function – soooo it’s prayer time.
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